Friday, March 6, 2009

I Watched the Watchmen

While Rican was having his regular dose of estrogen with chick flicks, I joined the horde of nerds around the country and saw the I-can't-believe-it's-already-out Watchmen. Now, I have done nerdy things before, like waiting outside an Apple Store in London for the unveiling of Tiger a few years back, or actually queuing up outside the Odeon Leicester Square to watch and subsequently weep at the abomination that was The Phantom Menace. However, I hadn't practiced that most beloved and essential nerd-action called reading comic books. I think I had a similar discussion with Bheeler before. When it comes to comic books, I am an utter philistine. My knowledge comes from the movies ... and pretty much ends there.

As you do, I got caught in the whole Watchmen shebang after seeing the first publicity photos on the Empire magazine. The existence of Watchmen had eluded me all these years. Later, it started to pop out in random conversations with random people - obviously the rumor mill had already started to turn by this point. Eventually, or perhaps inevitably, I caved in. I bought a copy of the comic ... and read it four times in a row. I agreed with everything that was said about the book - deconstructing the myth of superheroes, and all that shite. But, I was also totally mesmerized by the characters, the abundant yet subtle symbolism of the graphics, the sexual undertones, and the in-yer-face violence ... My only concern was the incongruous ending - I just couldn't buy it.

I got ready for this weekend by going through all the available trailers online - including that one with the Smashing Pumpkins song. Then last night, I decided to go one step further and bought a ticket for a midnight showing here in Portland. Needless to say, the nerd count at the theater was off the charts. And after nearly two hours and forty-five minutes, I was a satisfied filmgoer. I don't want to jump to a quick conclusion here, but ... who cares ... it is the best comic-movie adaptation I have ever seen.

That might not sound like a great epithet, because the competition does not really include many gems. Last year's The Dark Knight excepted, I'm not a fan of the genre. And don't even get me started on Spider-Man 2. So, I don't think it's in any fair to claim that Watchmen and the Dark Knight are the best comic-book adaptations ever. They are great films of any genre.

I wanted to write a review here, but I know Bheeler will do a better job at it. Also, I can't really be objective about it and my perspective might change after watching it again this weekend on IMAX. Now, I wonder if Dr. Manhattan's schlong will be distracting this time ... Probably not, because there will always be Silk Spectre II. Saucy.

Peace.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so on the fence in this one as I feel the same way about 'comic book' movies as you. However, I had an amazing time watching (pardon the pun... again) 300 when it came out a couple of years ago, despite all the mixed reviews.

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  2. I did watch "Watchmen" finally and I must copy and paste what I wrote as a response to Bheeler's review:

    Self important superheroes with no scene for us (moviegoers) to hang on to.

    Sure, I can check out a really hot woman walking down the street, but if she is a c-word, her impression is as fleeting as a silent fart out of my ass. That's how I feel about Watchmen.

    It looked stunning, but how could I care about the murder of a woman beating, poor hybrid of Robert Downey Jr. and Javier Bardem (Minus ALL the talent) named The Comedian (of which there is absolutely nothing funny about) and the mayhem that it kickstarts...?

    The scene-stealing Carla Gugino had nothing but Lea Thompson's make up from Back to the Future Part II and lines of the worst dialog imaginable.

    The chick from Heartbreak Kid looked awkward in her uniform and that lousy black wig.

    Jackie lee Haley had the neatest and most thrilling role of all, but did nothing other than Spider Man his way around the city and give VO narration. And then... he gets KILLED!!! Who KILLS the narrator...? Zakk Snyder does...

    Matthew Goode (I believe), the metrosexual superhero, had what could be the worst wig in cinema history.

    And the guy from Little Children just made me yawn. He's like the dramatic Will Arnett without any edge or personality.

    I think it boils down to this. And let's not be hasty, Watchmen is truly about...

    Billy Crudup's, CGI'd, swinging blue cock. There.

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